Things that give me pause

Committed - As Julia Roberts and Javier Bardem began filming the Hollywood version of Eat, Pray, Love in Bali, Elizabeth Gilbert was putting the final touches on an untraditional, but thoroughly satisfying follow-up to her 2006 bestseller. Committed is a historical, sociological and cultural exploration of marriage and its ever-evolving role in society. While I wouldn't necessarily recommend it to a giddy, wedding-obsessed bride-to-be, I'd say it's worth a read for anyone who has contemplated what marriage really means ... and how it affects the two individuals it involves.

Check out Ariel Levy's review of Committed in The New Yorker, and Curtis Sittenfeld's evaluation in The New York Times.

Brothers is one of those movies I know will stick with me for a while. I guess you could say this film succeeds on its ability to stir up a wide range of emotions. For me, it was a virtual Molotov cocktail of sadness, excitement, confusion and relief. Tobey Maguire's performance is haunting...riveting to the point of actually inducing cold sweats (granted, I happened to be watching the movie on one of the warmest nights we've had this year, but still....). And Jake Gyllenhal somehow manages to make you fall in love with his character, even though he happens to be a cigarette-smoking, unemployed ex-con. There's something about those soulful brown eyes that does it for me every time.

If you've seen it, I'd love to hear your impressions in the comment section below.

Pet people

I have never thought of myself as a pet person. Sure, I grew up with cats and golden retrievers that I adored, but I never really took an interest in other people's pets. As I have gotten older, however, and especially over the past six months, I have become much more attuned to the world of pets.

There are several reasons for this, I think. First, since I grew up in a pet-owning household, I grew accustomed to finding dog hair in my food, having my feet attacked by cat claws in the middle of the night and waking up with warm, wet nose in my face. The absence of joys like these now makes me acutely aware of the lack of pets in my everyday life. And while I wouldn't necessarily want to change this, the fact that I don't have my own furball to attend to makes me more cognizant of the fact that other people do.

I also believe that losing a pet makes one realize just how significant a role a furry, four-legged friend can play in your life. The heartache I experienced saying goodbye to our family dog last February was surprising in its intensity. My chest literally ached. And even now, a full year later, I am occasionally swept over by waves of sadness as I remember her soulful brown eyes and soft, silky cheeks. This most recently occurred when I read Garth Stein's The Art of Racing in the Rain, a must-read for anyone who has ever loved a dog.

But my immersion in the pet world has reached an all-time high since last August, when I began working with a company that describes itself as (and truly is) a pack of pet lovers. In consulting with BISSELL on their numerous pet-related initiatives -- from their Most Valuable Pet Contest to their Pack of Pet Lovers online community and their partnerships with Petfinder and North Shore Animal League America -- I have discovered the remarkable network of pet people that extends across the U.S. and around the globe. (One of my newest Twitter friends is a fun-loving French canine, @ParisChien.)

This network -- which leaves little doubt in my mind that we are a society full of pet people --includes such pet influentials as Andrea Arden, Cesar Millan, Dr. Marty Becker, Wendy Diamond and Kristen Levine; authors of pet blogs like USA Today's Paw Print Post, Paw Luxury, Scratchings and Sniffings and The Dog Files; and the millions of Americans planning to attend such upcoming events as BlogPaws, Global Pet Expo, SuperZoo, NSALA's Adopt-a-thon and HSUSA's Walk for the Animals. It includes the 69 million American households that own pets, as well as those whose work revolves around the pet industry --the veterinarians, trainers, groomers, breeders, dog walkers, kennel managers, pet product manufacturers, shelter volunteers, animal psychics....and so on and so on.

So I guess the question is not so much whether or not I am a pet person, but rather what kind of pet person I am. How will my personal experiences with pets like Maisie, Pippin, Thistle and Squeak combine with my new acquaintance with the global pet network to define my ultimate pet personality?

I think the jury is still out on this one :)

Maisie

Un roman à savourer

Although, as noted in a previous post, I found Muriel Barbery's "The Elegance of the Hedgehog," to be a fresh, insightful and thoroughly enjoyable read, the author's style is so quintessentially French that I couldn't help but wish I was reading it in her native language.

So, when I decided to pick up Barbery's other novel "Une Gourmandise," I went for the original, authentic, French version. And even though this means consulting my French dictionary at least once every five paragraphs, I have no regrets.

Barbery's writing is marvelous. Her use of language, metaphor and personification is nothing if not inspiring. The way she describes the cultivation, preparation and consumption of food evokes the vivid, primordial sensuality that lies at the root of our eating experiences.

For Barbery, a perfectly ripe tomato becomes a pleasantly plump "belle dame" squeezed into a crimson silk party dress and ready to burst at the touch of a tooth. A sushi chef's hands give birth to cubes of pink and red mother-of-pearl, which invite slow, supple mastication in order to savor their velvety-softness without altering their essential character.

If you take pleasure in food -- in finding, fixing and feasting on it -- then read "Une Gourmandise." You will relish every word.


Read more about Muriel Barbery and her work in this Time Magazine piece: http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1836659,00.htmlme/magazine/article/0,9171,1836659,00.html

A note on journaling

I love this piece by Melissa Donovan, "A Messy, Liberating Guide to Journal Writing," and could not identify with it more. I have tried just about every one of her 25 recommended ways to journal ... and I'm not done yet :)

And...I must admit that I too am partial to the Moleskine journal. I don't know how they do it, but there is something about the way a ballpoint pen runs across a Moleskine page - smooth as silk - that just can't be beat.

Happy Journaling.....

Basketball moms

Last weekend, I went to watch the 9th grade basketball team my boyfriend coaches play one of its arch rivals. I arrived at half time and slipped into the first empty seat I could find, trying my best not to disturb the parents and grandparents already perched in the stands.


After shuffling off my coat and glancing at the score, I began, as I always do, to take inventory of the individuals around me. To my left were three slender, young mothers, sporting three variations on the preppy mom uniform - blue jeans, wrap sweaters and clunky leather boots. They chatted amongst themselves, but kept their eyes fixed on the court. On my right, two enthusiastic fathers effervesced about the team playing better that night than they had all season. I heard the man behind me answer his cell phone only to be shushed by his wife. "Honey..." she hissed, "You're talking really loudly."

And then my eyes fell on the woman seated just in front of me whose curly, salt-and-pepper hair was drawn softly away from her face, revealing a placid expression and unfurrowed brow. Her lips rested in a half-smile that evoked a sense of calm not normally observed at a basketball game. I was intrigued.

I leaned a few inches forward and saw a mound of woven cotton cascading over her thigh into a cloth satchel. It was then that I noticed her hands, poised just above her lap, gently gripping a pair of plastic knitting needles.

She was knitting. At a basketball game.

Now, I am not saying there is anything wrong with bringing handwork to a sporting event....I'm just saying it was something I had not witnessed until that moment.

My first reaction was one of mild disgust. Could her son's basketball game really be that boring to her? How would he feel if he knew she was knitting during his game? Like he's not good enough... not interesting enough...not her top priority?

But as I thought it over more carefully, I decided that perhaps my first assessment had been unfair. In all honesty, she could have been paying full (or almost full) attention to her son's game even if her hands were otherwise occupied. And maybe he would rather her knit throughout his game than embarrass him by cheering or yelling at the ref.

Maybe the gentle, mindless activity helped this mother relax and enjoy something that left other parents overinvolved and tense.

Who knows....perhaps all those 9th grade boys would be better off if their parents paid a little bit less attention to every dribble, pass and foul shot they made. Maybe they'd be relieved to know their parents weren't always hyper-focused on them, and that they would even take the occasional opportunity to let their minds wander.

Things that give me pause

Morandi - My new favorite spot in NYC's West Village. Tile floors, wood paneling, soft lighting and amazing ambiance. Not to mention the simple yet flavorful Italian food. The Picci al Limone is a pleasant surprise.


The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo - The title doesn't do this book justice. Stieg Larsson presents suspense and sadism in a vividly portrayed Swedish town.


It's Complicated - I'm still trying to decide what I liked best about this movie: the hysterical story line, drool-inducing kitchen scenes or to-die-for decor.


Paris to the Moon - Just as enjoyable and inspiring the second time around as it was the first time. Adam Gopnik's perspective on French (and expatriate) culture, while occasionally trop intellectuelle, is ever insightful and astute.

A little perspective

"My experience is what I agree to attend to."

I heard this William James line quoted on NPR a few months ago and it has stuck with me ever since.

It has drawn my attention to the fact that, when it comes to my career, I often allow myself to attend to thoughts or feelings that cloud my ability to appreciate the present.


This is probably because I am a perfectionist. It is easy for me to become ensconced in inconsequential details and I have a hard time performing a task if I know I can't give it all of my energy and focus.


As I have adjusted to a new job over the last few months, I have occasionally found myself on the verge of panic at the thought of completing all the tasks on my to-do list to the best of my ability. At times it has felt that there just aren't enough hours in the day.

On June 17, I wrote in my journal, "Another very busy day. Feeling overwhelmed. I think I am spending more time on some of these tasks than I should, but I am paranoid about making a mistake. Can't seem to wind down in the evenings when I need to."

A week later, I wrote "My mind is racing tonight. No matter how many times I go over my to-do list in my head, it keeps going."

This entry is followed by a list of tasks that seemed insurmountable at the time. But as I read back through the list, I find myself smiling, chuckling at my own overdramatic self.

A to-do list that once seemed daunting now seems perfectly do-able ... and tasks that once stirred my anxieties have now become routine.

This realization -- that once-overwhelming assignments over time become matters of habit -- has caused me to think about those stressful days at work in a whole new light.

I am beginning to believe that if I never felt overwhelmed, stressed or intimidated by an assignment, it would probably mean that I was not learning -- or, at least that I wasn't learning at a stimulating pace.

It is good to remember that there will always be things that burden or worry us in life, so rather than dwelling on the difficulty at hand, we ought to focus on the personal growth that will eventually result.

We should always bear in mind that our experiences are what we agree to attend to.

(See Artsdevivre's "Growing Up" for another perspective on careers and personal growth.)