Sunday, January 17, 2010

Things that give me pause

Morandi - My new favorite spot in NYC's West Village. Tile floors, wood paneling, soft lighting and amazing ambiance. Not to mention the simple yet flavorful Italian food. The Picci al Limone is a pleasant surprise.


The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo - The title doesn't do this book justice. Stieg Larsson presents suspense and sadism in a vividly portrayed Swedish town.


It's Complicated - I'm still trying to decide what I liked best about this movie: the hysterical story line, drool-inducing kitchen scenes or to-die-for decor.


Paris to the Moon - Just as enjoyable and inspiring the second time around as it was the first time. Adam Gopnik's perspective on French (and expatriate) culture, while occasionally trop intellectuelle, is ever insightful and astute.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

A little perspective

"My experience is what I agree to attend to."

I heard this William James line quoted on NPR a few months ago and it has stuck with me ever since.

It has drawn my attention to the fact that, when it comes to my career, I often allow myself to attend to thoughts or feelings that cloud my ability to appreciate the present.


This is probably because I am a perfectionist. It is easy for me to become ensconced in inconsequential details and I have a hard time performing a task if I know I can't give it all of my energy and focus.


As I have adjusted to a new job over the last few months, I have occasionally found myself on the verge of panic at the thought of completing all the tasks on my to-do list to the best of my ability. At times it has felt that there just aren't enough hours in the day.

On June 17, I wrote in my journal, "Another very busy day. Feeling overwhelmed. I think I am spending more time on some of these tasks than I should, but I am paranoid about making a mistake. Can't seem to wind down in the evenings when I need to."

A week later, I wrote "My mind is racing tonight. No matter how many times I go over my to-do list in my head, it keeps going."

This entry is followed by a list of tasks that seemed insurmountable at the time. But as I read back through the list, I find myself smiling, chuckling at my own overdramatic self.

A to-do list that once seemed daunting now seems perfectly do-able ... and tasks that once stirred my anxieties have now become routine.

This realization -- that once-overwhelming assignments over time become matters of habit -- has caused me to think about those stressful days at work in a whole new light.

I am beginning to believe that if I never felt overwhelmed, stressed or intimidated by an assignment, it would probably mean that I was not learning -- or, at least that I wasn't learning at a stimulating pace.

It is good to remember that there will always be things that burden or worry us in life, so rather than dwelling on the difficulty at hand, we ought to focus on the personal growth that will eventually result.

We should always bear in mind that our experiences are what we agree to attend to.

(See Artsdevivre's "Growing Up" for another perspective on careers and personal growth.)

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Leap of Faith

We arrived at noon – nervous, but excited – in a state of disbelief about what we were about to do.

My legs felt stiff as I opened the car door and stepped out onto the gravel drive. I moved slowly toward the hangar, squinting my eyes in the summer haze and feeling anxiously bewildered by my surroundings.

The inside of the hangar was like a beehive – buzzing with activity. Dozens of people sprawled across the floor, twisting, tucking and folding large heaps of nylon into tight little parcels. Others darted back and forth across the large room, barking orders in their bare feet.

We made our way to the unmarked registration desk, which was manned by a slight but athletic-looking woman.

“You guys here for tandems?” she chirped.

We nodded timidly.

“Cool. I just started a video. Come on back.”

She grabbed a stack of papers and quickly weaved her way across the gear-strewn floor. We hopped along behind her, taking care not to step on any fingers, toes or important looking cords.

“Just fill out this paperwork,” she said, ushering us into a dusty classroom. “And bring it back up front when you’re finished.”

She was gone before I could even think about asking any questions.

I sat down gingerly, as I would in a strange doctor’s office, and looked around the room for some sort of reassurance.

No such luck.

The video, which was narrated by a man with dark skin and a long, woolen beard, was a tad too reminiscent of an Al Qaeda communiqué for my comfort, and the “paperwork” turned out to be a 20-page legal disclaimer stating (and restating) that what we were about to do was “inherently dangerous” and could result in serious injury or death.

I soon realized that all the other people in the classroom were scribbling their initials all over the same death contract I gripped in my sweaty little palm. They seemed to be ignoring the possibility that the skydiving experience could turn out to be anything but fun.

Reluctantly, I followed their lead, and signed my life away in a matter of minutes. I then scuttled as quickly as possible back to the registration desk and practically threw my wad of cash at the girl behind the counter. I knew that as soon as I forked over my $250, I would be mentally and physically committed.

We were eventually summoned to a brief training session led by a wry fellow who told us there were two things we absolutely had to do during our sky dive: keep an arch in our backs throughout the entire free fall, and tell our instructors immediately if we felt the urge to vomit.

Simple enough.

Then we waited, watching as one group after another suited up, boarded the plane and, minutes later, emerged from the clouds above us like a flock of Rainbow Brite-infused birds.

The first few landings I witnessed made me cringe. The solo divers came in hard and fast, as if sliding into home plate for a game-winning run. Some of them soared in with such uncontrolled momentum that I thought they might take out a building – or at least one of their buddies – on the way.

But watching the tandem jumpers land was much more comforting. They came in softly, smoothly and with the utmost control. And each time I saw a smiling face come bobbing back from the landing strip, the butterflies in my stomach fluttered a little less violently.

By the time it was finally our turn to gear up, I was so tired of waiting that I probably would have been willing to jump out of a plane with anyone who offered to take me. So when I met my instructor and discovered he was a Navy man, I felt as confident as I ever would about risking my life for a fleeting adrenaline rush.

“Now,” said my instructor once I had donned my diving harness. “Do you remember the most important thing you have to do during your jump?”

“Yes,” I said emphatically. “Arch my back.”

“Nope,” he shook his head. “Afraid that’s not it. Who told you that?”

My stomach did a flip flop.

“Um… I …I don’t remember his name, but…”

“The most important thing – in fact, the only thing you have to do once you exit that plane,” he said, “is to have fun.”

I smiled.
“I think I can do that,” I said.

Within a few minutes, we were packed like sardines in a tin can of an airplane, watching as the altimeters on our wrists measured 10,000 feet … 12,000 feet … and, finally, 13,500 feet.

As I pulled my goggles down over my eyes, I felt my instructor tug the harness to make sure we were securely fastened to one another.

Then the door at the rear of the plane slid open and four experienced jumpers shimmied out one by one, clinging to the side of the airplane like oversized tree frogs.

I blinked, and they were gone.

A blast of cold air swept across my face as we approached the back of the plane. I saw clouds and open air, and felt suddenly vulnerable.

From then on, I was aware of what was happening, but felt like I was experiencing it from a distance. My instructor’s voice faded to a dim murmur and everything became blurry through my goggles.

In an instant, I felt my body torque and plummet head-first into spiraling white space. Then there was nothing but the deafening roar of free fall.

I had expected a jolt, or at least a falling sensation, but the movement was surprisingly smooth. My body was hurtling toward the earth at several hundred miles per hour, but somehow I wasn’t scared. I didn’t even feel the need to scream.

I just kept my mouth shut and focused on breathing, which was no easy task.

Then, with the yank of a cord, I was plunged into a tranquil, floating silence. My body trembled and my ears rang, but my mind was calm.

I removed my goggles and admired the expanse of lush, green farmland below. As I drifted through the air, with my legs dangling in the breeze, I felt an overwhelming sense of peace.

It has since occurred to me that skydiving probably isn’t so different from any other risk you take in life. Whether you are getting married, starting a new job, having a child or jumping out of a plane, what may at first seem terrifying – especially when you consider all that could possibly go wrong – usually turns out to be instinctive, comfortable ... even fun.

Once you cross the initial hurdle of committing yourself to a challenge and accepting its inherent risks, you are three fourths of the way there. Then, all it takes is a few encouraging smiles and a firm but gentle nudge from someone you trust, and, before you know it, you are soaring through the open air, with the wind in your face and adrenaline coursing through your veins, and – surprisingly enough – you realize you are enjoying it.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Summer Reading

Over the last month, I have read two fantastic novels by female authors relatively new on the literature scene.

The first - "Belong To Me" - was Marisa de los Santos' follow up to her 2005 novel, "Love Walked In." De los Santos writes with clarity, honesty and emotion ... and the characters in her books are people I would like to have as friends.

The characters in Kathryn Stockett's first novel, "The Help," are equally interesting and engaging, but in a completely different way. These ladies living in Jackson, Miss. in the 1960s represent a wide spectrum of strengths and weaknesses, passions and dreams. I am inspired by their sense of compassion for each other.

The summer isn't over yet, and I am already 20 pages in to what I can tell will be another good one: "Bird by Bird" by Anne Lamott.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Summer



Is there any sound more soothing than the gentle drone of cicadas on a midsummer night?

Monday, July 20, 2009

Things that give me pause


On July 1, Christopher B. Howard became the first black president of Hampden-Sydney College. The 40-year old is a Rhodes scholar and graduate of the U.S. Air Force Academy with a doctorate in politics from Oxford University and an MBA from Harvard Business School. He earned a Bronze Star in Afghanistan, headed Bristol-Myers' HIV/AIDS initiative for Africa and now serves as a defense attaché to Liberia, where he spent two weeks on duty last month before reporting to his new post at Hampden-Sydney.

Howard is an Aspen Institute Henry Crown Fellow and serves as a senior advisor on African affairs at Stonebridge International. In 2000, inspired by his wife's experiences growing up under Apartheid in South Africa, Howard founded the Impact Young Lives Foundation to provide scholarships and travel opportunities to South African students of color.

His resume goes on and on ... and is nothing short of remarkable. I look forward to seeing the new perspective Howard and his family will bring to the Hampden-Sydney community.


July 19 Richmond Times-Dispatch article: http://bit.ly/30qtVt


Christopher Howard on leadership: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZW7-eeg5NfA

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Life lessons from the King of Pop

As I scanned through radio channels during my drive to the mountains last Friday, I happened upon a radio interview with a Midwestern woman who was grappling with the reality of Michael Jackson’s death. The woman said that it wasn’t until Jackson died that she truly came to recognize and appreciate the role he had played in shaping her dance career. I listened, enthralled, as she tearfully described the confused rush of emotion she experienced when she heard the news of Jackson’s death and all the memories – of his performances as well as her own – that had since come flooding back to her. And, while I am by no means a dancer or musician, I found myself identifying with much of what the woman said. Hearing her reminisce about Michael and his music caused me to consider my own “relationship” with the King of Pop. As hard as it is for me to admit now, I was once a die-hard M.J. fan.

I don’t quite remember how I first became interested in Michael Jackson’s music. What I do remember is shrieking at the top of my lungs – “Yyyeesssssssssss!!!” – when I found a cassette tape of Thriller in my stocking on Christmas morning. That was the year I was in fourth grade – the year I became completely obsessed. My cousins and I spent hours upon hours composing dance routines to everything from “ABC” by the Jackson Five to “Billie Jean,” “Bad,” and Smooth Criminal.” We even took a stab at choreographing our own (uber-cheesy) performance of “Black or White.”

That summer, I discovered MTV and VH1 and devoured every Michael Jackson special I came across. I watched the ABC Family movie, The Jacksons: An American Dream, so many times I could practically recite the script by heart. I am pretty sure I even recorded some of this “educational material” on a blank VHS tape so that I could watch it over and over again – pausing and rewinding to study Michael’s dance moves and then attempt to recreate them in my living room.

So what changed? Why did I eventually ditch my M.J. albums and replace them with the latest by Sheryl Crow and Ace of Base?

I think I began to lose interest when I saw the slightly creepy but mostly sad version of Michael that emerged during the infamous Oprah interview at Neverland Ranch. Then, the endless series of child molestation charges gradually smothered to death the last few sparks of enthusiasm and respect I had for him.

Deep down, I wanted to be a loyal fan and stand up for the artist I so admired, but it was suddenly way un-cool to do so. The more the media feasted on Jackson’s freakish appearance and dubious behaviors, the more difficult it became to focus on his talents instead of his shortcomings.

I genuinely hope that Jackson is finally resting in a peaceful place where he is free from the gnashing jaws of the paparazzi, but I must admit that I have been pleasantly surprised at how the public has responded to his passing. The media’s interest in digging up the nitty-gritty details of Jackson’s death has been vastly overshadowed by the tidal wave of positive recognition(or cultish hero-worship, whatever you want to call it) he has received over the last two weeks. Sure, the coverage of Tuesday’s memorial service was a bit over the top, but I, for one, have taken great pleasure in hearing Michael’s music on the radio, seeing his old performances rerun on television and observing as people across the globe process the bittersweet news of his death.

I find it a shame that it often takes a celebrity dying in order for the public (or the media) to focus on the positive aspects of his or her career. It is incredibly easy to fall into a pattern criticism and judgment, but life is too short and too precious to be tainted by constant negativity. And nothing good ever comes of negative thinking. So , in honor of Michael, I am going to start with the (wo)man in the mirror and challenge her to always look for the good in people.